GaryHart_…. Who is this boy??_

Yesterday, for the last three-week-period i have done my fast. Actually this wasn’t my first fast, but in my opinion this fast was very unique and challenging. Some people called it as Daniel Fasting, and as its name, i fasted like Daniel did. At that time, Daniel didn’t eat all the king’s meals and in today’s age those meals were represented by all the products connected to animals, such as meat, milk, egg, and all the food products containing those things. Honestly, at he beginning i was so reluctant to do this that i missed the first-two-day. I thought that this fast would be useless and good-for-nothing activity. Strangely, God put me on the condition that forced me to do this fast and at last i started fasting on Monday. I did that because the aim that God told me. My aim at that time was to prove that there was no works of flesh [symbolized by animal products] took part of my life and nothing but Jesus could chain me. I just wished that God would do His job and made me strong thus i can pass this through because i knew that this wouldn’t be that easy.

After 17 days of fasting, i realize that i seemed forgot the main purpose of this fast, related to Indonesia. So i ask Him what He wanted to say to me about this nation. I said that i didn’t want to end up this fast without revelation from God. And God simply said this to me: "There are so many righteous people in this nation, but there are only a bit commited people that wanna stand for this nation. In which group are you belong to??". Hearing that, i simply checked my self and found that i had no pride of Indonesia. God reminded me to Sodom and Gomorrah’s story. What had happened in Sodom and Gomorrah at that time, had been happening in Indonesia, didn’t you realize that?! And God is looking for those people who have His heart for Indonesia. This revelation is incredible for me because it makes me keep asking God to reborn Indonesia inside my heart. Finally, i dare to say that i have no regret doing this fast, though sometimes i still sin but God strenghten me day by day. I wish this revelation also make you who read this passage realize that we can choose whether we’ll stand for this nation or not and then God’ll make His decision whether He’ll destroy or keep this nation. That’s what we have to keep in mind. Hope that you don’t make wrong decision. God speed_                           

[Sunday, 10th September 2006 ; 2.22 AM]

Hhhh…. akhirnya g nyampe jg d semester 3 food tech uph…. kt org seh ni semester termasuk salah satu semester yg paling berat d pangan…. sebenernya pas awal msk pangan g berharap cpt2 smstr 3 soalnya mata kul smster 3 tuh kynya seru, pangan bgt… sementara smster 1 n 2 tuh masi ky sma gt…..

nah, pas ud d smster 3 awalnya g excited, g pikir seberat2nya mentok2 mirip ma smter 2…. pas ud ampir dua bln, g br berasa tuh yg namanya cape bgt, jauh lebi cape dibanding smster 1, 2… tiap minggu 3 praktikum [mikropang, kitik, n biokimpang], dg kt laen 3 laporan tiap minggu dg pembhsan yg masya allah +_+ blom lg pretest n quiz2 yg dashyat luar biasa yes yes yes (esc bgt, tp g kaga bs ikud)….. smster ini tuh g cm ambil 19 sks soalnya sebagian ud g ambil d SP, jd g pikir g punya bnyk wkt kosong bwt ng-aslab anak 06, jd g daftar d n diterima…. alhasil, skrg tiap hr g msk jem 7.30 n plg jem 4 sore mpe mabok….. sbnrnya ga gt nyesel seh jd aslab, soalnya nambah pengalaman jg trus jd bs lebi kenal anak2 06 abis uph festival….

Gara2 tiap hr g cm tdr paling lama 5 jem, jd g sering tdr d kls : kls kimpang, kitik, pen komp, ptp, biokim (pharah bgt_) blm lg tiap minggu pasti ada wkt mkn siang yg kepotong gara2 pengamatan mikpang…. trus tiap hr minggu g jg ada pelayanan d grj jd nyampe kost paling cpt jem 5 n ud tepar bgt, ga napsu bikin laporan…. ditambah lagi g ikud puasa daniel alias puasa daging n smua derivatnya, jd makin susah makannya….. satu lagi, komsel tiap minggu 2 kali, trus mesti follow up bbrp anak n sob tiap hr jumat sore mpe malem, nyampe kost ud hmpr tengah mlm……

Hasilnya, SaTe g berantakan, bener2 blom bs ngatur waktu neh…. trus nilai2 g jg ga tau gmn nasibnya (sejauh ini quiz n pretest g lumayan parah…) pdhal g pengen bgt dpt beasiswa bwt smster dpn, jd makin beban gt rasanya….. g ud korbanin bbrp hal seh ky ga ikud sob minggu terakhir, ga ikud food gathering, ga ikud lit, ga ikud esc (ada hikmahnya jg ternyata…) tp tetep aj masi kacau, mpe g brasa muak ma aktivitas g….. Trus bagi yg blom tau, Alkitab g ilang d angkot, pdhal tuh Alkitab very2 priceless bwt g….. (untung tere mw pinjemin Alkitabnya bwt sementara….heheheh thx y_)…

Untungnya g ga sendiri, ad tmn2 g yg punya aktivitas yg sama parahnya ma g n akhirnya qt malah saling nguatin….. sebenernya g ud tau apa yg salah, yaitu g sering ngorbanin waktu g ma Tuhan…. makanya skrg g lg dlm tahap2 bwt balik lg ma yg namanya kasih karunia Bapa, g percaya lah apa yg dianggap bodoh bagi dunia akan dipakai luar biasa oleh Bapa bwt mempermalukan dunia…. skrg mungkin bnyk org yg blg bhw g ckp bodoh bwt ngorbanin waktu g untuk hal2 yg mungkin sifatnya secondary need, tp g percaya klo aktivitas g boleh ada spt skrg tuh emg Tuhan yg ijinin n g yakin kasih karunia Bapa cukup bwt g….. Bagi mereka2 yg jg ngalamin hal yg mirip ma g, dimana kdg qt blg "i’m fed up with this chaotic" ayo qt sama2 lah inget ma Bapa qt yg luar biasa. Klo Dia bs kasi g semangat lg, pst lo org bakal dikasi semangat yg sama!! God speed_